Bread and a spider

I thought I would try making some bread tonight after church...so I followed the directions very carefully...and it flopped! It did the same thing the last time or two I tried to make this recipe. I have a "help" email in to Tanya, as it was her machine and the same kind of mix she used...maybe the machine just misses her? Anyway, instead of nice fluffy, sweet Hawaiian Bread, I have heavy, dense, Hawaiian brick. :-D So that will be headed to the trash.

My next idea was to make Monkey Bread. I have never made it before, but it sounded good. So I made some of it. It seems to have turned out pretty well...though I haven't actually tasted it. I was thinking about taking it to work, since I can't eat the whole thing myself...and am never quite sure if it is rude to take something to work that I have "started" eating? Hmm...

Anyway, the spider comes in as I am baking. I am in MY kitchen, minding MY business...when Mr. Eight-legs Hugemous goes prancing along the floor between MY oven (where the treasured Monkey Bread is) and MY refrigerator. Well, in a split second I determined I was going to be really brave and find a shoe and step on him...in that same split second Mr. Eight-legs Hugemous decides to go between the cupboard and the refrigerator, circumventing any intentions I have of squashing him! Great!!! Now I resort to the chemicals...good thing I keep a can of spray handy in most rooms...I whip it out from under the sink. Squirt.....! I can't quite tell if I have gotten him...he turns in a little circle...wait...(muffled scream)...he is running TOWARDS me! (Why on earth when something is trying to kill you do you run TOWARDS it?!?!) SSQQUUIIRRTT....................!!!!! (Have you ever noticed that you press the little squirt button harder when you are REALLY trying to kill the monster as he runs towards you?) Aha! the chemicals kick in...he decides that running towards the spraying menace is not the best option, but it is too late...he begins his tremorous convulsions. (For the sake of the faint of heart, I refrain from further describing his last few agonizing moments...) Now comes the disgusting task of disposing of his body! Ugh! I should call in the Crime Scene clean-up team, but decide that multiple layers of paper towels may offer me enough protection, if I am careful. Now, just for the record...I try to live a peaceful life, and I let the little creatures live...but they need to stay in their domain...and that is NOT my house! I don't go around outside looking for their homes to destroy, or take over or whatever...so they need to leave me and my house alone.